I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
