At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
