I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
