I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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