Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
