i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
