Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
