she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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