I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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