So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
3pm strippers are depressing
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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