Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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