dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
