can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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