This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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