he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
