No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
