I heard we made out
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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