They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
