she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize