I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
