I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
