Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize