Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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