She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
