we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can't just leave with hair like that
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
