best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize