I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
