woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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