I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my liver is dry heaving
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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