Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
