just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
