nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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