So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
