You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize