The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
