I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
