I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
