you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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