fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
