That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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