i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
