ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
