my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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