Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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