I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize