How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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