wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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