..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
