AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
