Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
