**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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