too bad you live with your parents still
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My vagina is officially offended.
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