I swear she didn't look like that last week.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
