spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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