He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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