At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
